"As the Old Saying Goes: the Harmful Confucian Values in Chinese Society" by Luran Yu

She was not allowed to wear clothes when she was born. She is not expected to do great in school. She is obliged to follow the ritual (He and Li 7) and filial piety. She is me and every girl raised in Chinese culture. 

The moment I was born into this world, I made my paternal grandparents disappointed. I’m a girl, not a boy. As I grew up, I realized this thought did not just refrain in remote areas but reflected traditional values in modern society– Confucianism. This long-celebrated philosophy absorbed the essence of gender inequality and spread misogyny in contemporary Chinese culture in a systematic way: Confucian family values, including family harmony and gender stereotypes (Zheng 20). Essentially, such family values maliciously undermine women’s ability to thrive in society through the Chinese custom of marriage and child-bearing (婚育习俗). 

Chinese culture strictly adheres to the five relationships (五伦) (He and Li 6) in Confucianism that assert the superiority of husband over wife. This belief exploits women by implementing customs such as dowry and brideprice. Dowry is the “advertisement” the bride’s parents offer, and brideprice is the price a bridegroom pays for his “purchase.” This long-standing tradition objectifies and others women by turning marriage into a profitable transaction (Brown 28). Nevertheless, with its disguise as the bride’s “wedding gift,” we are ignorant of the damage it brings to modern families. 

In addition to othering the bride in marriage, the concept of family harmony shames women for divorce. When my cousin married in 2019, her parents paid a high price for her dowry, such as household and jewelry. However, such “trade” did not maintain the marriage. In reality, my cousin is just a luxury that her husband purchased to demonstrate his social superiority, whereas the oppressive family values cruelly silence her. Coming such a long way to

secure their current rights, women cannot withstand the damage that divorce brings; Not only will their reputation be damaged, but their marital scandal may impede their career development– they will have no future. Because of the deep-rooted norms, women are imprisoned in the ritual of maintaining harmony with little support to break the shackle of manipulation. 

For younger girls, Confucianism emphasizes their inferiority by naming newborn boys and girls differently. The Book of Songs, a Confucian classic, refers to girls as cheap tiles (瓦) (Pan 154), while regarding boys as precious jewelry (璋) (Pan 154). Despite the influence of modern education, most Chinese people remain to value boys more than girls. My mother’s grandparents gave birth to nine children, naming their first five girls with phrases meaning “come boys” and their four boys “come good fortune.” Until now, there are still false norms teaching people how to avoid giving birth to a girl; for example, not drinking cola and exercising more before coitus increases the possibility of having a boy. 

Corresponding to this concept, my paternal grandmother was furious after discovering I was a girl. She asserted to my mother that I must only wear swaddling clothes and receive no newborn celebration. In contrast, she spoils my cousin with every love she can give. For example, she is generous in giving red envelopes, packets of money that the elders give to the youngsters during Chinese New Year, to my cousin, but she scolded me for being greedy after giving me the same amount of money. 

Pathetically, my grandmother is a female herself. As much as I despise her misogyny, I pity her for being brainwashed by sexism. She was born without noticing her inferiority, but she passes this unworthiness to future generations. As she became an “exceptional” woman raising two sons, she blindly cherished such pride until realizing my existence, which damaged her

self-esteem. However, my grandmother is only a snapshot of the ramifications that Confucian values bring. There are millions of Chinese girls enduring graver consequences, while the majority continues to ignore the damage caused by this sexist idea, claiming that the accusation of misogyny is too harsh. 

Because it is impossible to combat Confucian family values directly, women like us should devise ways to alter the so-called norms together. Therefore, education reform is paramount to raising awareness of women’s rights. Since Confucian misogynous values belittle females at a young age, a cohesive education on gender equality can effectively change their false conception and raise public attention, which triggers more opposition beyond the education field. In this way, people work as a collective to eradicate this detrimental discrimination. Though our enemy is the root of Chinese history, education is the perfect preface to this book of reform. 

Work Cited 

Brown, Philip H. “Dowry and Intrahousehold Bargaining: Evidence from China.” The Journal of Human Resources, vol. 44, no. 1, 2009, pp. 25–46. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/20648887. Accessed 30 Apr. 2023. 

HE HUAIHONG, and Cheng Li. Social Ethics in a Changing China: Moral Decay or Ethical Awakening? Brookings Institution Press, 2015. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.7864/j.ctt7zsw42. Accessed 30 Apr. 2023.

Pan, Chaoqing, 潘超青. “说说《诗经》中的‘弄瓦.’” CORE, 2014, https://core.ac.uk/works/24193057

Zheng, Ruiwen, "The Relationships between Confucian Family Values and Attitudes toward Divorce in Mainland China: An Exploratory Study" (2016). Dissertations - ALL. 611. https://surface.syr.edu/etd/611