"'Patriarcat', she said" by Paul Fritsch-Fontagnes

My insatiable curiosity as a seven-year-old led me to ask my mother why my surname was Fritsch-Fontanges. The question was well reasoned: combining two long surnames with atypical spelling is inconvenient. After all, why not only Fritsch, my father's name, or only Fontanges, my mother's? I could not understand why my parents kept both names, placing my father's first. To my inquiry, my mother answered, "Patriarcat." Though initially met with confusion, the word etched itself into my memory, becoming a slit into a gender-defined world. Still today, I ask myself: is it so unthinkable that a child does not keep his father's name? When will French society emancipate itself from patriarchy? 

The great challenge women and girls face in France is that men perpetuate an amended patriarchal norm, which dictates that women be both subordinate and independent. As Virginie Despentes, a prominent feminist author, puts it, French mores have the unspoken yet widespread ideal of "the attractive but not whorish white woman, in a good marriage but 

not self-effacing, with a nice job but not so successful she outshines her man, slim but not neurotic over food" (Despentes, 2015). Men adhere to these pernicious tenets and harmful stereotypes of power imbalance: for example, a disheartening 52% of young men consider 

that women's objectified portrayal in pornography is not problematic. Worse than passive acceptance of norms is their active execution. Suppose a young girl has a father among the 47% of older men who believe it is normal for women to care more about their appearance than men. Under the influence of her father, she will likely grow up to be one of the 67% of

French women with a detrimental body image because of a socially-imposed quench for femininity. The danger of these accepted ideals lies in their disempowerment of women. 

These standards become even more perilous when considered alongside the recent upturn in violence endured by women. There is a link between gender norms and abuse: assimilation of stereotypes enforces patriarchy, subconsciously justifying laxism around brutality. However, French men have the schizophrenic tendency of repeatedly showing indignation in the face of extreme violence but shrugging at the sexist behaviors that cause it. 77% of men adhere to benevolent sexism, thinking men must protect women, but this sexism is the basis for passivity in the face of violence (Durán et al., 2013). Thus, protecting women requires fighting stereotypes. 

82% of the population wants sexism to be a top priority on governmental agendas. In light of this willing majority, promoting discussion in schools with young men is essential to curbing stereotypes in the fight against patriarchy. French law mandates three interventions a year about sexual education, but schools often overlook these invaluable talks. In October 

2022, my class welcomed one. After separating us into rooms based on gender, talking among young men was a revelation: with all masculine competitiveness vanished, I realized we could all be feminists. But when the class reunited, we could not help but be defensive at the perceived accusatory discourse of the young women. As a man, it is hard to accept your role in what is wrong with society without summoning a paralyzing fear that you may be doing the same. However, these talks enable men to fight their ingrained stereotypes consciously. Though this was the only talk we had of the three mandatory that year, this single discussion made me aware of these reflexes that intrude on progress, teaching me how to have the conversations needed for our joint feminist fight without letting our intrusive

norms take control. In a worrying time of antifeminism, with the rise of the "manosphere" online, making such talks mandatory would allow a widespread understanding of the non-antagonistic relationship between men and women in the fight against patriarchy. 

So we ask ourselves, when will France emancipate itself from patriarchy? "At the current rate of progress, it will take 132 years to reach full parity", reports the 2022 Global Gender Gap Report. Still, slow progress is progress nonetheless. In 1975, it was not shocking to see men on television, when asked if they battered their wives, answer, "By habit, some women like being battered. [...] Others are not battered because they do not need to be." Fifty years later, men's mores have evolved to make these bloodcurdling testimonies appalling: we can only hope that today's discriminatory practices will bring similar shame to tomorrow's more equitable society.

REFERENCES

Adichie, C. N. (2015). Nous sommes tous des féministes (We should all be feminists). (S. Schneiter, Trans.). Gallimard. de Kervasdoué, C. (2017, November 20). Éducation sexuelle des enfants : il y a urgence ! Retrieved May 2023, from https://www.radiofrance.fr/franceculture/education-sexuelle-des-enfants-il-y-a-urgence-2515777.

Despentes, V., & Benson, S. (2015). A gun for every girl. In King Kong theory. essay, The Feminist Press at the City University of New York. Dupont, M. (2022, October 12). Dans l'intention de rabaisser et de contrôler les femmes, un "continuum" de violences. Le Monde.

Durán, M., Moya, M., & Megías, J. L. (2013). Benevolent sexist ideology attributed to an abusive partner decreases women's active coping responses to acts of sexual violence. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 29(8), 1380–1401. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260513507134

Institut National de l'audiovisuel. (1975, December 5). Les Femmes Battues: INA. ina.fr. https://www.ina.fr/ina-eclaire-actu/video/cpb86002741/les-femmes-battues

Marcade, S. (2020, July 9). 2 Femmes sur 3 confient être complexées par leur corps. yougov.com. https://fr.yougov.com/topics/health/articles-reports/2020/07/09/2-femmes-sur-3-confient-etre-complexees

Nous Toutes. (2023, May 7). Comprendre les chiffres pour mieux défendre les femmes et les enfants victimes de violences sexistes et sexuelles. noustoutes.org. https://www.noustoutes.org/comprendre-les-chiffres/

Pierre-Brossolette, S. (2023, January 23). Rapport Annuel 2023 sur l'état des lieux du sexisme en France. https://www.haut-conseil-egalite.gouv.fr/IMG/pdf/hce__rapport_annuel_2023_etat_du_sexisme_en_france.pdf

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