Fragile and docile. Really? by Ximena Pineda

Woman. When I hear this word, the first thing that comes to my mind is a female silhouette  walking down the street, upright and confident, ready to face any situation in a world where  she is valued and appreciated by who she is beyond her gender. However, this is not the case  for the vast majority of women in Guatemala, a country where the customs and traditions  passed from generation to generation, as well as their gender inequality. 

I am Ximena, and I have witnessed this inequality even though I grew up in a family that  practices gender equality and attended one of the best educational institutions in my country.  Every day, I see women doing “women things” and men doing “men things”. I hear phrases  like: “if Ximena can do it, all of you men can”, or “you punch like a girl”. And I know, their  intentions when they say this is not to make me feel bad, but I feel underestimated. In fact, I  love to play sports, consequently, I have spent a lot of time training and strengthening my  body, and when I outdo a man in some sporting activity, it hurts me that men take it as an  offense that I’ve beaten them. Why? Can’t I be strong because I’m a woman? The worst part  is not the words, nor who said them, but that I believe it. I internalized it and made it part of  me. Every time someone believed me incapable, a voice whispered to me: “ maybe he can  because he is a man.” Fortunately, I ignored that voice and it gradually disappeared, but not  all women in my country do the same, and as Kavita Ramdas once said: “Feminism, unlike  almost every other social movement, is not a struggle against a distinct oppressor - it's not  the ruling class or the occupiers or the colonizers - it's against a deeply held set of beliefs and  assumptions that we women, far too often, hold ourselves.” I strongly believe that this is the  biggest challenge that women and girls in Guatemala are facing today: to overcome the  customs and the stereotyped model imposed on them as women. In my case, fortunately, this  was reduced only to derogatory phrases; however, indigenous women in my country do not  suffer the same fate. 

Most indigenous families still maintain the traditions of their ancestors and women are  committed long before birth, they are in charge of the housework and raising the children of  the family. When they try to overcome themselves and get out of these ways, they are  discriminated against, even by other Ladino women with comments like: "you do not belong  here, servant."

The solution is easy (at least to say it), first, we must start to see all people around us as equal,  regardless of their ethnicity, gender, or skin color. We are all human beings and deserve the  same respect. Therefore, both women and men must stop perceiving women as the stereotype  that for centuries women have had about themselves: that of fragile and docile people, always  willing to serve their husbands and give their lives for them. Instead, we should accept and  normalize that a woman does with her life what she wants and how she wants: if she feels  complete without a man in her life, it is fine, and it is also completely normal that a man does  not need a woman in his life because that is what feminism is about: equality. Also, although  biologically a woman’s body is different from a man’s, she is capable of performing the same  activities as men, so do not denigrate us for being women. We can. Stop saying: “that is not  for women, let me help you”, and start saying: “She can do it.” I know it is difficult to change  from one day to the next, since it is within our culture and roots, but to begin to notice that  these phrases are derogatory and to eliminate them gradually is a great step in a long road  that we still have to travel. 

Changing our mentality as a society; starting with us, the women; following by the men, and  then teaching the new generations the gender equality without stereotypes and customs, will  lead us to a world where women and men walk with their heads held high, self-reliant, proud  of who they are and valued for their own merits, rather than their gender or ethnicity.