From Shotgun to Driver; Escaping Passiveness by Seohyun Kim
About two months ago, my English teacher asked me why I wanted to leave my country at such a young age for studies. I told him about my future dreams of becoming a neurosurgeon in the USA. About how the society of my own country silently forces women to get married, give birth to children, and be content with their lives at home. I told my teacher how much I hated this implicit coercion towards women. After this conversation, I wondered, what kinds of experiences have I had to make me think women are the weaker sex?
I was utterly baffled. No matter how hard I pondered on my past and present, I could not think of any examples of sexual discrimination. Despite being a woman myself, I had no memories of hardships purely out of the reason I was female. Discrimination was not a topic I worried about on a daily basis; in fact, it was a topic I had never found critical to my life. I was and am proudly a woman and never felt superior or inferior to my sexuality. But the thoughts of implicit coercion were still inside me, nagging me. I started to question what seeded these thoughts inside of me.
The most significant impact was from the people surrounding me. My grandmother told me a story of her dropping out of school because of her family's financial difficulties while her two brothers had the privilege of secondary school. If she was born again, she aspired of becoming a man, going to college and achieving her dreams. It wasn't because of her lack of talent or passion; it was the social background implicitly stating that women were inferior to men. Then there was my aunt. She is an exuberant woman who got an excellent education at a prestigious university and used to work full time for a computer company.
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However, she quit her first job as she bore children and was ultimately unable to return to her original position and had to choose to work as a bookkeeper instead. Also, throughout my numerous years of schooling, I have rarely seen men coming to pick up their children at school. What I have seen were countless women giving up their jobs and social position for the sake of raising children. It wasn't voluntary; it was a social norm that women take care of the children. Many became dependent on their husbands because men were the ones providing financial income. Thus, women around me gave me the impression of passiveness.
The media here in South Korea also dramatically contributes to portraying women as inferior beings starting with K dramas, movies, commercials, to the news. In K dramas, the female protagonists are soft, tender, pure, very faithful to love, and willing to sacrifice. They tend to forget what their aspirations are while prioritizing their relationships with men. Female movie characters are slim, attractive, and always assist men as either a love interest or a friend. Commercials for toiletries and home appliances always feature women in white with their child happily cuddling in the living room or successfully cleaning the bathroom. According to a study by Michael Prieler, female characters are less likely to appear in working environments or outside while more likely to appear indoors with children. The news doesn't discriminate women but rather portray them as weak, delicate beings as women are mainly the victim in crimes, especially ones related to sexual harassment. Excessively provocative titles are repetitively used as reporters write articles about women discrimination, harassment, sexual abuse, and appearance.
With the media and stereotypical women surrounding girls my age, I am afraid they too may be caught in the silent coercions. They, too, will think they are the weaker sex, needing protection. They, too, will inevitably think of women as inferior, incapable human beings who are required to stay indoors. They, too, will unconsciously fit in with the social norm, becoming a passive person rather than an active one. And yes, society is changing, empowering women, and encouraging women's rights. But what will truly break the glass ceiling if young women themselves are stuck beneath it? Women need to find the way out first, changing the way people view us with our own actions. We need to escape passiveness, find our voices, and break the glass ceiling. That will be the biggest challenge, and the only way women can advance.