"Just Tahan Lah" by Deanna Pearlynn Wong Ann Rei

Nothing embodies the rags to riches trope like Singapore. In a few decades, our grandparents turned a tiny fishing village into one of the richest, safest and most productive countries on Earth. Our grandmothers pushed through countless obstacles in both the roles of a worker and a caregiver amidst poverty and the ubiquitous shadow of sexism, with their indomitable spirit living on in their daughters and granddaughters to this day. As such, women are not just expected to succeed, but also to excel. We call this mindset “kiasu” in Singlish, the Singaporean zeitgeist: an endless desire to strive for more to avoid falling short. In a city where sleep is simply a setting on a computer, Singaporean women face the unique challenge to perform at maximum efficacy in everything expected of them without weakness. 

The status of women in Singapore is shaped by a mix of three Asian cultures: Indian, Chinese and Malay. Though vastly different, all three cultures overlap on the unquestioned assumption of women as the caregiver of children and the housewife. The caregiver and housewife can be defined as attentive mothers and diligent wives. One serves the children, the other serves the husband. But in Singapore, there is an additional role for women: the worker. 

For the Singaporean woman, the worker is the first mantle she carries upon finishing studies. After education, she must find a job. Upon the latter, she is now a woman. She is no longer just a girl, but a useful member of Singapore. A female’s value must be proved through career, the value of men is recognised through mandatory national service. This is the ascent from girlhood to womanhood. She is excited, and she will make the most of her opportunities, a subconscious promise to her mother and grandmother that she will not let their sacrifice go to waste. Gender equality in the workplace has come a long way since the times of her mother and grandmother. Of course, there’s a gender pay gap of 6.0% in Singapore, but it’s nothing compared to that of our neighbouring nations. She should be grateful. Plus, government surveys show only a quarter of women here

have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime. That’s nothing compared to any other country in the region. For a female, she is spoiled. Opposition to that is shameless ingratitude influenced by Western feminist nonsense. 

Eventually, the chatter surrounding a woman’s life evolves from career to relationships. In her late twenties to early thirties, the value of a female is now also defined by her ability to facilitate a family. With one of the lowest birth rates in the world, the female’s ability to produce offspring is incredibly valuable and incessantly encouraged. There are now three options she can choose as her future: the first two would be to either continue working without a family, or end her career and become a full-time mother and housewife: but those choices are selfish and lazy respectively. Housework isn’t real work, that delusion is eradicated in school. The third option is to play all three roles: a caregiver, a housewife and a worker. This is the norm in Singapore, where most women work two shifts: at work and at home. But taking this route requires a pass in the test of luck: if found pregnant, there’s a 10% chance of losing her career. So let’s hope that punishment goes to someone else. Once through, she is a female of value. An exhausting lifestyle, but her mother and grandmother did the same back when life for women was actually unfair. So she takes the third option, unclear if it was a choice or an obligation. 

Singaporean women are 10% more susceptible than men to burnout. However, she ‘chose’ this lifestyle, the struggle her doing. Her frustrations are petty complaints, unworthy of being real issues, justifying ignorance as a response. After all, she wasn’t the one who spent two years in national service. She doesn’t have it “as bad” as her counterparts in the continent. She didn’t struggle like her mother, or her grandmother and her mother. So she shuts up, and continues doing what she does best: suck it up and survive – or in Singlish – just tahan lah. Tahan to prove her value, to prove why she deserves respect, and to prove her place. Just tahan for a better tomorrow, like the Pledge of Singapore compels: “to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.”