"The Burdens of Prejudice Embedded in the Chinese Language" by Dabria Chu
In a world where only the most tangible things can be characterised as real, as existing, we often forget that challenges can also come from within, from places which we easily ignore. In China, the greatest challenge that women and girls face is the language formed through the ancestral ideology: 「三從四德」(1).
The notion of「三從四德」 dates back to ancient Chinese history where the roles of women were clearly defined by society. The Three Obediences refer to the three men a woman must be subservient to— her father before marriage, her husband during marriage, and her son as a widow. Hence, women must always be listening to a man, heeding their every beck and call. The Four Virtues are a woman’s morals, a woman's words, a woman's appearance, and a woman's work— all guidelines as to how a woman should live her life to make men happy.
In modern society, the Three Obediences and Four Virtues are not plastered onto every wall, or taught by mothers to their daughters. However, the very language we speak preaches to girls the same ideology, our words repeating the values of our ancestors. Hence, no matter how much we try to reform, to become a society of equal opportunity and values, we still unconsciously remind every girl, every woman, of their place.
When you open a book describing a group of people, the author will always use the word 「他們」(masculine “him”), even when both sexes are included in the crowd. Whilst it used to be a gender neutral term, it now has masculine connotations and reflects the idea that masculine terms mean everyone, therefore men and words regarding men are more superior. Perhaps it was only a mistake that caught on, but despite modern changes to the language to include the feminine「她」, our language still affirms the superior status of men. I was taught since I was young that it was okay, that it’s simply just language, but even now I cannot fathom why the masculine term is used to describe everyone. Thus, this societal conditioning which we are not even consciously aware of frequently stresses to women that they will never be enough, that they will always be beneath men.
Similarly, when a couple marries, men are to take their wife with the word 「娶」(2) similar to how a customer buys and takes a vase back home from the shop. On the other hand, women are given away to their husbands like a delicate gift with the words 「嫁給} (3). It is laughable how women are still treated like objects, that we are to be submissive presents handed over to our husbands. It is also no wonder that women in China still, to a certain extent, believe that they need a man in their life, that they must join their husband’s family after marriage, that they cannot emancipate and empower themselves. After all, these ideologies have been casually ingrained in our minds since we were toddlers.
Although sexism is a fight where each and every activist must come together to battle, I believe that our first action should come from within us. We must change the way we speak. In the case of 「娶」 and 「嫁」, the creation of a gender neutral term is integral in creating a society where women are not underneath a translucent glass ceiling. A non-binary referal term, similar to how 「它」 is for objects, 「祂」 is for religious figures, and 「牠」 is for animals, will allow us to no longer casually infer that men are the superior sex, especially not through our diction. Without such words dictating young girls and oppressing women, we will no longer be conditioned into thinking that we are lesser than men, that we are objects for them. We will no longer need to fight through our internalised misogyny and then, fight against society’s bigotry. We will finally be able to lean in.
In the end, only time will tell if our word choice could truly make an impact on our lives. If, by continuing our fight for an equal playing field through conversations, can help break the glass ceiling. But perhaps, along with the various movements from around the world, with the growing number of girls raising their swords against prejudice, we will create a better world. A world where the Three Obediences and Four Virtues is a concept taught in history class, not to young girls as the golden truth.
(1) Translation: Three Obediences and Four Virtues
(2) Translation: (literally) take a wife
(3) Translation: (literally) given away and marry to