"The Pull on Women" by Ching Shun Wong
As soon as my eyes landed on the topic of this essay, I was fraught with uncertainty and hesitation. If truth be told, I seem to have never experienced sexism and gender inequality that bothered me. Being a student in a single-sex school, I see girls of my age dominating the sports ground and triumphing in a host of competitions, taking up leadership positions on campus. We have had our first female Chief Executive after 20 years since the handover, ridding us of the stereotype that the female sex is the weaker sex. I feel fortunate to be a girl living in Hong Kong in this day and age, and yet, I am asked to probe into the difficulties that females in Hong Kong encounter today. I therefore scrutinize my life and observations, and I uncovered that such a sense of satisfaction could be the biggest challenge. Are we authentically content with what we have now, or is there still an immense curb on women?
Once a British colony, Hong Kong is deeply influenced by western culture which upholds gender equality. Egalitarianism collided with traditional Chinese values, leading to two paradoxes regarding women's status.
The first paradox is the role of women. Gone are the days when men were responsible for earning a living while women stay at home. With the rise of feminist consciousness, women have the freedom to lead their own lives and pursue their career ambitions, thus proving their worth and where they stand in society. However, many continued to find themselves fettered by traditional Chinese perceptions of female roles that are virtually irreversible.
A striking illustration of this is my mother. Holding a master's degree, she went the extra mile to advance her career before giving birth. While work encroached on her personal life, my grandmother persuaded her to make a sacrifice for family responsibilities, which was what she and every female had done in the bygone days. My mother was reluctant to give in, just like any quintessential ambitious modern female, but it was almost arduous to have it both ways. Hence, I grew up pampered by domestic helpers. Families in Hong Kong often hire maids to cope with both work and childbearing. These underprivileged women are bread-earners of their households, and yet ironically only domestic work needs them. Ultimately, it is a woman's responsibility to do chores, forming an imperishable glass ceiling and limiting their role. It is also deplorable to ascertain how working mothers in Hong Kong had to resort to these disadvantaged women, yet both struggled with the inherent roles as females. How is it not distressing?
The second paradox is the source of happiness. Career ambitions that contribute to self actualization, often take a back seat to marriage or childbearing. Rather than having a successful career, the Chinese community is accustomed to the belief that a good marriage is paramount for a female. The phrase leftover ladies (sheng nu) was coined to insult and ridicule those unmarried in their late twenties. The prominent role of being a mother or wife seemingly defines a female's life and is ironically the fetter to women finding their confidence. Those that remained working shoulder a dual burden that deprives them of rest and entertainment. The immense pressure on women to meet responsibilities both at home and work even leads to many feeling exploited.
Last year, I watched a Chinese variety show from 2019 named My Little One, which attached a great emphasis on how women must marry to be happy. I saw every father righteously affirm that his daughters getting married and having children was filial piety and being responsible to the nation, which was astounding and did not align with women's beliefs in this modern society. The show has not only engendered ferocious controversy but was also condemned as hypnotizing the public with outworn values. The pull between two cultures on women puts an invisible restraint that struggles those who are self-conscious and independent. It is of paramount importance that different vehicles of culture, from books to the media, disseminate the proper message that upholds gender equality. The media should keep abreast of modern values and equality of the sexes. Furthermore, women should also be encouraged to fearlessly uphold their own desired lifestyles and shape who they are.
These equal rights were granted as gifts, and it takes endeavors to retain and defend them until the pull on women eventually loosens.