Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder with Unrealistic Standards by Hillary Yue
“What in the world are you thinking?”
My mother began her tirade.
“There is a reason I never let you cut your hair short—it accentuates your round face and brings out your unattractive features. Looks are important, especially for women! You’re lucky you don’t have any interviews for universities at the moment—I can’t imagine how you can face others with an appearance like this.”
I tightened my grip on the pair of scissors, her explosive words sending sparks of anger and hurt that prickled my skin and left a bitter aftertaste. In my perspective, short hair was just a new hairstyle I wanted to try; yet, her words made me waver in my decision. In her perspective, short hair was a deviation from her idea of beauty derived from society’s acclaimed standards. In a general perspective, we were all just victims of oppressive beauty standards, passed on from one generation to another.
A history of patriarchy and androcentrism has left its imprints on women up to this day. Amongst many traditional beliefs of how women should act, one is the emphasis on adopting features that are conventionally deemed ‘attractive’. Whether it be modern hourglass figures or Victorian pale faces and rosy cheeks, an overarching standard for women’s beauty has always existed. Beauty can also be assessed in a quantitative methodology, a notable example being the golden ratio of human faces, which analyses a certain proportion of face width and length that is deemed as appealing and beautiful.
Furthermore, mass media also forces unrealistic ideal appearances onto women. In media, women are objectified, labelled and assessed under high scrutiny. This leads to the standards of women’s beauty rising to an unattainable and toxic height. Women would then mould, cast, carve and then assemble themselves to become fit for society, which often brings
about detrimental effects to their mental and physical health, insecurities manifesting in the forms of eating disorders and suicidal thoughts.
When your ears listen to the cacophony of voices instructing you to follow their beauty standard, and your body acts in compliance with their wishes, you’ll soon realise that your hands are outstretched towards the unreachable. Your legs will never be enough to chase the ever-evolving beauty trends; your eyes will never be satisfied with your reconstructed reflection in the mirror, and your heart will forever experience the hollowness of living in a body whose beauty didn’t feel completely yours.
It is easy to succumb to the pressure of societal expectations. There is an inherent willingness to accept and adhere to these standards, stemming from a yearning for acceptance. Some let their perspective of beauty guides their lives and the decisions they make, living to seek approval from others. We falsely believe that we can become more confident from others’ compliments and will then be able to learn how to love ourselves. However, acceptance should begin with ourselves. No standard of beauty should be important to you other than your own. It is difficult to change society’s beauty standards in a short period of time, but we can change the standards we uphold ourselves to. We don’t have to accommodate ourselves for others.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is subjective and differs from one individual to another. Thus, there are no correct standards of beauty that exist to fit everyone. I stared in the mirror, scissors once again held tightly in my grip—this time, in determination. With a steady hand and resolve, I cut my hair, letting it flutter to the ground. You are the beholder of your own beauty.