The Nightmare Every Turkish Woman Lives In by Alara Falay

 Surviving. Not living, simply giving a fight to stay alive. Fear, fearing for your life. Being  frightened on the train, on the bus, on the subway, in the street, even in your own home.  Going out of your way to not be the last person left in the bus, getting off two stops early just  so you won’t be alone with the driver. Not wearing skirts, tight jeans, crop tops or short sleeved t-shirts; cleavage not even being a question. Fastening your pace as the sun goes  down and you are not yet home. Walking the long way home because the shorter one is  always quiet and deserted. Never, ever letting your guard down in front of anyone; learning to  trust no one, being scared to leave your relationship because of that uneasy feeling in your  stomach and always being extra cautious when entering a new one, just in case he turns out to  be a psychopath.  As much as this story sounds like a nightmare, it actually is very real. It is the life of an  average woman in Turkey. 

 In 2021 alone, at least 280 women were killed by men and 217 were found dead under  suspicious circumstances. Their relationships with their murderers all varied: their husbands,  fathers, men with whom they refused to form relations or men they did not know at all. In  fact, we see these women on the news almost every day in Turkey, and I have recently  realized that these kinds of news do not shock me anymore, almost as if I am numb to them.  A wife killed by her husband because she loaded the dishwasher the wrong way, a school girl  walking home and being followed by a stalker, a 5-year-old girl being raped by her father’s  friend, traumatizing her for life... How can something this sick and disturbing be so  normalized that I do not know how to react to it anymore? How come these men go free,  without paying for the life they took or the damage they caused to their families, their friends? 

 A society is bound to go downhill without the presence of strong and confident women,  and as Turkish people, we must identify the root of this problem in order to prevent it. In my  opinion, it all comes down to the level of education in a society. Educated children will be  able to identify false gender roles and to think outside the box of the traditional Turkish  family stereotype, where women are only seen as caretakers for their children, almost like  “servers”; this is crucial to our case because the so-called motive for more than half of these  murders is the woman being “impure” and “dishonoring her man”. The educated next  generation will also grow up to become more respectful citizens and adults who are more  aware of their environment, thus the crime level in our country going down. In the words of  Nelson Mandela, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the  world.” 

 I believe that safety is the fundamental challenge for our women today because without  setting a safe environment, we sadly cannot even guarantee they will make it to the next day.  It is an issue that requires serious action, starting with education for all from an early age. If  we change the way one kid looks at the world around him, we change the point of view of a  whole society. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “If we want to reach real peace in this world, we  should start educating children.”