Fear of Being a Woman by Selin Atlı
The literal meaning of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm. But in my country, fear means being born as a woman. This fear begins when the doctor says, “Congratulations, you will have a daughter ". So the reason for fear is not being a woman. The main reason is there is a point of view against women, and the possibility of changing this point of view is very low. Well, is it reasonable to put women in a mould and expect them to take shape in that mould?
The basis of this mould is the superiority of men. Male dominance begins to be processed in children’s subconscious from a young age. A younger generation teaches girls how to cook, clean the house, do the laundry and do similar things as if they are supposed to serve boys. Why? The answer is simple for them; If you don't know these things, you will stay home. Many girls are not sent to school; why? Because they think that doesn't matter. What happens if a woman tries to form her pattern? At this point, fear will be revealed, and society will take this as a threat to what they think. It is not a problem for them to eliminate this threat because they have a majority that will support them and make them right.
I am afraid of going out at night, wearing what I want, behaving the way I want, being myself, laughing out loud. In short, I am afraid of being who and what I want. I'm so scared to be the girl under the headline "The young girl's body was found in the garbage" in the news. Although I have the right to defend myself and show that I am innocent, I am afraid. I am so scared because the excuse "Being alone at that hour in that dress shows that she wanted" I know that this will be more acceptable than the fact that I am innocent, and I didn't want it. But unfortunately, those who accept this have so normalized the inhuman behaviour towards women that they think they can treat women as an object and treat them as they wish.
Defending our rights is very difficult. Defending our rights and trying to hear ourselves often causes us more violence. This is why we often remain silent and do not respond to what is done to us. Even in the protests to emphasize the importance of the Istanbul Convention for women's rights, some women were beaten by the police and then arrested. It is not unexpected that women remain silent in a country like this. Should we stay quiet until the end of our lives?
No. We must shout as loud as we can. We must reach out to as many people as possible and tell them our situation. We must shout because future generations will suffer what we have suffered if we do not call. When the doctor says, "You will have a daughter," they will experience the same fear as we experienced. To not share this fear, we must put our silence and fear aside, and we should make our voices heard. As G.D Anderson said, "Feminism isn't about making women stronger, women are already strong, it's about changing the way the world perceives that strength”.