Stolen Smiles by Selin Çoklar
It was a beautiful August afternoon when 38 year old woman left her house with her young daughter. The daughter with whom she had peaceful photographs and sweet memories and the daughter for whom she pictured a bright, victorious future.
They were holding hands as they walked into a café, where they would meet the woman’s former husband. As the divorced couple sat down and began discussing about who would have the custody of their daughter, an argument was kindled. Would she have raised her voice ifshe had known what her former husband was about to do? Would she have given up and compromised? She was probably told to do so and she knew her former husband better than anybody else did. Still, she chose to refuse. As the argument got heated, for a split second, she noticed the momentary blink of the light reflected by the knife her former husband had pulled out…
Tears rushed down her cheeks as though they ridded her of the pain. She cried out “I don’t want to die!”. She cried out for every woman we had lost that summer, she cried out for every infant who would one day repeat those words in silenced monologues. Hers was a cry, reminding us all those stories we had let die in our minds and hearts. Her name was Emine Bulut.
Turkey has come to know countless Emines for years on end as we have been waking up to the stories of women and girls suspiciously going missing or being beaten to a pulp. We hear stories that would put Stephen King novels in shame. Some of these women were only girls - some were kids half my age - some had children and some were thriving in their careers but regardless of who they were, their faces now blend into one don’t they?
Right of life is the birth right of every individual. Becoming a young woman myself, I have witnessed my society slowly internalise the violations of this primary right against women. The society may put their despising faces on for a while and fill up social media with truly touching posts. However, as the days go by, they forget the women whose name they stood up for, as though she never existed.
The term “femicide” was first introduced in 1976, defining “the gender-based murder of a woman”. Along with the rapid raise in domestic violence rates due to COVID outbreak, 300 Turkish women have been victims to femicide and 171 have gone missing in 2020, which is undeniably alarming. Femicide has been around and if we do not take action soon, the catastrophic numbers will continue to snowball globally.
In my objective, femicide symbolises the lack of respect for women and the failure to address them as individuals. The very education begins within family, for example: 38% of Turkish women have reported they have experienced domestic violence at some point. Therefore, it would be right to acknowledge the link between the two. Additionally, a lot of families choose not to empower and encourage their daughters as they are so focused on how big a source of honour their boys are. This over-pampered mindset evolves into a dangerous and self-absorbed one as it matures, whereas girls become more self-conscious.
Education is an indispensable practice to fix the mistakes and pass down wisdom. In fact, it is the key to preventing other inequality issues as well. If we teach the new generation why everybody is just equal, they can accept the idea of respect for each other much by heart. The catch is, our community tends to understand such modifications as threats to centuries-long traditions. Of course, we cannot expect an overnight change in mindsets of our communities but this does not mean we cannot take baby steps, and begin by teaching youngsters a woman is not less valuable than a man and a man is not less valuable than a woman.
In addition to this long-term strategy, jurisdictions play an important role as the most primary temporary solutions. Some may argue that penalties for convicts are not as blunt as they should be. Some bring about death penalty, which has examples around the globe. I appreciate Turkey’s efforts on improving in this area yet admittedly, we have a long way to go.
“Everything we see in the world is the creative work of women.” said Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, let’s create a safer future together. We don’t want to die.