SHADOWS by Büşra Dündar

Humanity has gone through sickening events. Racism, wars, genocide… In the twenty first  century, to the outside eye, the world might seem to have gotten better but this one fact destroys all  faith left in humanity: women are killed just because they are women. In my country, the biggest  challenge women face is being women. 

Discrimination against the female gender begins at birth. In Turkey, girls are constantly told  to not wear skirts while playing because their legs might show. On the contrary, same age boys are  encouraged and asked to show their genitalia to those who ask, which is a common tradition in  Turkey. When a girl enters puberty and has her first period, she is told to keep quiet about it.  However, when a boy shows symptoms of growth and hormones, he is praised and appreciated.  Gender discrimination starts when we are young, which subconsciously builds the foundation of  what becomes male dominance and mindless freedom.  

For some parts of our society, women are men’s property. Women must defend men’s  dignity by obeying their commands. Women do not get to have voices, thoughts, or desires. A  woman must always keep her head down, bowing down to her man. If she dares speak up, demand  her rights, or voice her opinions, she deserves violence. In such a scenario, what is done to her, be it  bullying, silencing, or killing, is completely justified and socially acceptable. Women being shadows of  men, has become one of my country’s unspoken rules and is not only acknowledged but also  expected and accepted by the majority.  

When a woman is raped, this question pops into minds: was she a mother or a sister? At first  glance, this statement positive, encouraging, and empowering empathy to better understand the  woman’s situation. However, say the woman is not assigned a role by society. Say she is not a  mother, a wife, or a caretaker of sorts. Will we not be sorry for her? Do women only matter when  they are given gender-based responsibilities? A woman who refuses to get married is a fallen  woman, who god forbid does not want kids is a disappointment. The illusion society has created  around woman and their responsibilities has rendered their freedom pseudo-existent. Women long  of achieving their own dreams, not what society expects of them. 

Let us take femicides into consideration. Suppose two women were violently murdered on  the same night. One woman was at home, with her kids, waiting for her husband. She was too  exhausted to cook and has decided to spend the day resting. Her husband comes home and realizes  her woman had not prepared food. He first beats her, indistinguishable from torture, and then kills  her. The second woman was out partying, wearing whatever she wanted. After getting drunk and  having fun with her friends, she is found alone on the street, naked, raped and killed. Does the  difference between these women justify killing the second woman? To our regret, most of the  society including women, thinks so. The life of the second woman is made less valuable because she  is not a mother or wife. Thereupon, the rapist murderer is almost justified by questions such as  “What was she doing at the bar late at night? She should not have gotten drunk. With that skirt, she  was clearly asking for it”. Society has become so used to femicides that those who commit the  crimes, are rarely found guilty. People always find a way to victim shame innocent women.  

Violence takes form in many ways such as physical, psychological, and sexual. My country has  found that isolating women from society the best solution for falling victim to violence. Nevertheless,  this only feeds into the fact that women are treated differently than men. What society needs to  understand is that there is no way around this problem without tackling inequality first. Make people  realize how much their actions affect others. Tell them about girls that are afraid of being kidnapped,  raped, or even murdered at night. Let women know they matter and that they are worthy of being equal humans as well. Tell women they have the right to be whoever they want. Give people the  same rights, educate men and women on what is good and bad, tell them what is possible and what  is not. Having education and being able to think logically is the only way we can overcome women’s  biggest challenge: inequality.  

‘‘I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.’’ -Audre Lorde