Safety Shouldn’t Be A Privilege by Zeynep Öğütçü

For seventeen years, I lived safely. For seventeen years, my family supported me. I wasn’t forced to change my clothing because I got my period at twelve. I wasn’t forced to get married at thirteen. I wasn’t forced to have kids by fourteen. I was never forced to do anything because of my gender. Luckily, I was privileged enough to be safe when safety should never have become a privilege but a right. From the day I was born, I was taught to depend on myself, not on a man where lots of girls were taught to find a rich husband. I never dreamt of becoming a “housewife” or “a servant to my future husband” – the jobs that all women must have in order to be worthy in society. I was able to get a good education in the best schools where many girls were left at home to do housework. 

Does this privilege of safety and education make it better for me to live in Turkey as a woman? Do my opinions make anything easier? The answer is no. I still don’t feel comfortable being alone in the unknown streets when it is dark or wearing a mini skirt in most cities because people stare. I am afraid to use minibuses alone because a man might come up to me and kill me if I resist anything he says. I am afraid that I had to learn to protect myself because I might have to rescue myself from a man. I am afraid that I might have the next black and white photo on the news as a victim of a homicide. 

Every day at seven, I open the TV for the news. I see bodies of women left on the streets in pieces. I see the fear in women’s eyes, trying to protect themselves. I see the crying faces of children who watch their mothers suffer. I see girls getting sold to men for money as if they are property. Sometimes the news is spread throughout the whole country. People show their awareness through the media, but sometimes these violent acts happen, and nobody hears about them. It passes, and those who are guilty continue to repeat the same acts on other women. One by one killing, and torturing all of those who resist them. These things happen more frequently than I can ever imagine. It is not a book, not a film. It is the reality that women in Turkey are facing every day and the biggest challenge among them is the constant unsafety created by the ideology that men have the power. 

Yet, the ideology that men are superior comes from the society itself. Children are taught that women are inferior to men from the day they are born. At home, sons are treated better than daughters. At school, girls are implied that they cannot do better than boys. At work, women are not seen as qualified as men, and most of the time receive less salaries because of their gender. This idea that surrounds Turkey should change. Better education should be provided to everyone. People living in this society should know that it is not acceptable to discriminate against women, it is not acceptable to see them as less human because of their gender, and it is not acceptable to feel bad that you have a daughter instead of a son. 

Unless the fixed idea of society changes, women won’t be free of judgments, violence, rape, murder, patriarchy, or unwanted marriage. The change should be brought to the lives of millions starting with ourselves. The change should start with awareness. When it is spread, no child will grow up to learn that women are inferior, girls will be supported in their education, women will be respected for their accomplishments, and all of us will have the right to safety. We deserve a better life, and it will come as more people are educated and awareness is spread.