Essay by Fatima Fahad Malik
As a female teenager living in Pakistan , the biggest challenge I have seen women around me , including myself face is trying to live up to an image which is imported . It is not me and it is not mine. Therefore in trying to own it I have exhausted myself. It is the wave of the so-called ‘modernism’ perpetuated by feminism that has totally ripped me of my self-identity and my values.
Growing up in Pakistan I have seen two kinds of girls residing here, quoting the exact same narrative but fueled by different perpetrators.
The majority belongs to villages from low income groups while the rest are birthed in luxurious bungalows yet both of them face the same kind of lack of protection because of the kind of values they have attached themselves to.
The one with the lowest income group faces the same challenges as anywhere in the world. Decades back when values were in place and this section did not have exposure to social media there was protection against sexual and physical harassment at certain levels. Men couldn't out rightly harass females because then the entire community stood up for the female. With the imposition of imperialist powers which strengthened the feudal system in Pakistan, villages were subjugated and brought under these new masters-the feudalists. The majority of these feudalists ironically are schooled in western colleges and universities but at home they follow the same Set of values they have been seeing around them which follow neither religion nor ethics. They impose the same kind of power dynamics as everywhere in the world where the rich rule and the poor suffer.
As we move to the other female residing in laps of luxury in urban settings, again possibly living in households schooled in the west, we see that although She herself has been to the elitist institutions home and abroad she still faces rampant emotional, physical and sometimes sexual abuse because now there are imported values set into place which offer her no protection whatsoever. She has to strive to have the perfect figure and climb up ladders in the executive environment which leave the majority exhausted. The values which offered her luxuries earlier on in which men were bread winners and women were cared for, where her father ,brother ,husband and son became protective shields against harassment and abuse had been thrown away by this person in the name of ‘liberalism ‘and ‘emancipation’ . She now finds herself at odds with her identity where on one hand she craves for the protection and purpose that was offered to her and which has been ingrained into her DNA through centuries versus the kind of ideals which borrowed western feminism has tried to penetrate through decades of brainwashing into every society. So she becomes what is popularly known as confused Desis.
Moving on equating "amount of clothing" one dons with happiness has paid a huge price. Women had always been modest in these parts and had enjoyed their modesty. They were never uncomfortable to begin with because again that's not how perfect women were described to them. But then came their
knight in shining armor and told them that if you needed to feel free you needed to shed .However if they made girls shed “fear of body image" and “fear of acceptance into popular groups" and " fear of doing good alone" then it would have been great . But the only thing this knight taught was to shed clothing and somehow that would equate to all of the above. Many females had and still have issues with adopting this image of a scantily clothed woman because they are comfortable in their attire but now the "perfect woman" image portrays something different. Ironically the same freedom is not granted to a female who wishes through her desire and happiness to put on a hijab or a veil. The same mentors who preach happiness at all costs look down upon her. She is ostracized at so many levels in the "enlightened liberated crowd" that one loses count. From insults and bullying in schools to being
discriminated against at multiple forums in her educational and professional Career, this girl who chose to cover herself more because of her happiness finds that this slogan was a facade to begin with.
So you see, the biggest challenge facing females in the Pakistani society are imposed values which have failed to cater to the financial emotional or physical needs of the females residing in this region and have come up with a version of female freedom which falls flat on its face when it lands here. . So now they have been seeped in two sets of problems. : Those that actually existed in the country for them and those that this western version of liberalism brought to them. They do not know where they can find solace. So they waste their life away, trying to mold themselves into a version that society will accept, forgetting that society is flawed by definition. It will always find fault with them and will suffocate them by burdening them with expectations after expectations. Thus, they can either choose to drain themselves in the pursuit of fulfilling them or they can carve out their own morals and live by what satisfies them and them alone.