Essay by Deren Alanay
“Where is your husband?”
“I don’t have a husband.”
“Aren’t you twelve yet?”
“I’m seventeen.”
“Oh, you’re very late! My five sisters got married at twelve, one even had a baby!”
This was a conversation I had with Leyla, a ten-year-old who lives in an underprivileged area of Turkey. Before I met her, I always knew that life was difficult for a woman living in my country; however, the innocence I saw in her young eyes made me realize even better that female suffering starts at a very early age and haunts women forever.
Home means safety, love, the tender hug of a mother, the lively laughter of a sibling- at least that is what it meant for me. Nevertheless, some girls in Turkey are not as lucky as I am. In the past year, four hundred girls experienced sexual abuse, sixty six percent of them from relatives. Many of the abuses have not been reported. In November 2016, the Turkish government recalled an amendment to a bill that would allow perpetrators of sexual assault to be exonerate if they married their victims. This decision was controversial, as people believed that it would promote child marriage.
Although compared to other Middle Eastern countries child marriage is less common, Unfortunately, it is still present among the low-income and conservative communities in Turkey. Girls are not bread bringers; they a burden to the family’s economy. Therefore, once they reach puberty, they are viewed as bridal candidates. Fifteen per cent of girls get married before eighteen. When they get married, they are deprived from their formal education. They are expected to cook food, look after children, and serve their husbands.
Recently, a female social worker in a hospital in Istanbul exposed that, last year, an average of five hundred pregnant girls under the age of eighteen visited the hospital. Most of these girls were Syrian refugees without formal marital documentation. They were either forced into marriages by their families (fathers) at a very young age or were raped. The scandal demonstrated that no legal action was taken towards the families. Hospital authorities tried to keep this information away from the public eye. Sadly, these girls are the fortunate ones. At least they were provided medical care. The remaining are probably too afraid or ashamed to report sexual abuse and give birth at home or go through illicit abortion.
Why do scandals like these happen in Turkey? Because of a deadly cycle. Uneducated men physically, sexually, and emotionally abuse their wives. Uneducated mothers cannot defend themselves or their daughters because they are too weak, or they think that this is the way things should be. The son, future man raised in these families, see abusing women as a sign of masculinity and part of manhood. The daughter, on the other hand, believes it is normal to be suppressed by men- after all, her mother has gone through the same experience. This under-aged girl never gets proper education to understand her real human worth. She is never confident enough to take action towards making change. There she is “a little married woman” at the age of twelve. Consequently, she raises sons identical to her husband, father, and brother. And so, the cycle persists. She is abused, her children are abused- a culture of female violence spreads from generation to generation.
How can we break this cycle? Empowering girls like Leyla is the first step to take. Supporting NGOs like the Association for Supporting Contemporary Life (ÇYDD) is essential. Driven by well-educated independent women of Atatürk’s modern Turkey, the ÇYDD and others aim to provide the education and support these girls deserve. Our hope for a better future will only be possible if we raise these girls with awareness of their legal, political, economic power and social rights. Intellectually empower the girls of today will become the strong, independent women of tomorrow. We must not let them down. Young women of my age, privileged to be born in a better educated family should embrace this responsibility and reach out to our sisters. It is our duty to help them find the courage to break the box of traditions, and free their spirits from oppression.