"Who is the Pakistani Woman?" by Moel Abaidullah
Poverty, lack of education, disease, forced marriage, domestic violence and honour killing; these are a few of the issues the women of my country have to face. Yes, the women in my country are physically and emotionally damaged by issues that should be nonexistent in the 21st century. Yet I am not compelled to write about them. There is another very modern, very global issue Pakistani women are facing today; identity.
Who are we? What is our role in Pakistani society and the world at large in a world that is rapidly changing?
These questions surface in our minds at some point in our lives and manifest themselves in our daily experiences. Women have to either give age old answers or become outcasts. Women are pressured to stay in marriages even with abusive husbands. If they leave they face a life of disdain. My sister and I have been reprimanded by distant relatives for adopting the hijab at such a young age. The current mother generation is constantly fighting with the daughter generation over dressing themselves. Pakistani women face harassment at workplaces. Girls as young as six are sent to work because their parents cannot afford to educate both them and their brothers. While they financially contribute to their family’s earnings, their brothers usually drop out of school and get employment when and if they wish. While media has finally begun giving women a voice, the situation on ground remais heart shattering: just recently a “panchait” (a committee of elders in rural areas) ordered a revenge rape on a rapist’s sister. I could walk you through this maze of paradoxes endlessly. Would you laugh with me or would you cry?
The first and foremost reason for this; our state religion, Islam. With respect to religion, most Pakistanis belong to one end of the spectrum. They are either “liberals”, wanting as little to do with religion as possible while still professing to be Muslims. On the other extreme lies the religious group which frowns, rather glares upon all who do not live life their way. Unsurprisingly both the groups limit their knowledge of Islam to the chunks which serve their own manifestoes. Consequently, misused and misinterpreted clauses of the Islamic code of life are a source of suppression, self-doubt and societal criticism on the female population of the country.
The 21st century’s renowned “explosion of information” has also had its affects. Information brings awareness. Awareness is the bottom rung on the ladder of progressive thinking. Women today can climb this ladder from within the confines of their homes. Their screens are their portals to being inspired by women fulfilling roles they could not even dream of playing.
What with all sorts of multinationals now operating in Pakistan and pop culture at its most accessible all over the world, Pakistani culture’s private bubble is no longer intact. Pakistani writers, designers and publishers are channeling current international trends. Turkish dramas, Indian soaps, Korean serials, anime shows and American and British television serials have all found avid viewers in the Pakistani youth. Most teenagers around me know “Closer” and “Ciao Adios” by heart. A few, if any, know our folk songs. In short more and more Pakistani women are dressing, working and entertaining themselves like citizens of a global village.
Where, then, do our traditional roles of homemaker and child bearer fit in? We are still finding our way. We should do some yoga, sip some chai, sit down and think long and hard about what we want to do with our precious, precious lives. Mothers and daughters and sisters need to come together to create an environment which liberates rather than stifles women. We must give ourselves and the future generations of women courage to defy unjust norms.
At a more practical level, we need to arm women with education. Educating every girl means expanding her job opportunities, her knowledge of her rights and ultimately her view of the world. In Pakistan it also means keeping guardians from raising her as a child laborer. In a nutshell, education can prepare girls to take on the world.
Hmm….does moving forward mean we leave culture and religious practice behind? Absolutely not. Admittedly, this has been the case with the process of modernization in the West. However when I say I believe in women making their own paths, I mean completely their own. The footsteps of many iconic women may not suit our Pakistani feet. That is nothing to be afraid of. All of us can become icons of our very own.