"Shine Like a Star" by Defne Demiral

I was zapping through the channels on TV to watch something interesting with my ten year 

old sister. On a Turkish news channel, we saw the story of a jealous young man who beat 

up his wife. He argued that she deserved to be beaten because he caught her glimpsing 

another man on the street. My sister said, “abla abla (sister, sister), did she really deserve to 

be beaten?” I answered bluntly, ‘No, sister, no; nobody deserves to be beaten up like that.’ 

Ozgecan Aslan, a nineteen year old young girl from Mersin was bludgeoned and stabbed to 

death while trying to resist rape. Emine Dirican, a beautician from Istanbul was shot by her 

husband and almost bled to death when a main artery was ripped by a bullet in one of her 

legs. She made the mistake of letting him in her mother’s apartment after a bitter break-up. 

“He tied my hands, and my legs from the back, like you do to animals,” recalls Dirican, 

shuddering. “He beat me with a belt and told me to listen to him, and obey him as his 

master.” These are all everyday events that occur in my country. 

Abuse is the main form that gender discrimination evinces itself in my country. It can be 

subsumed under three broad categories: physical, emotional and sexual, all of which are 

rampant in Turkey. Daily newspaper headlines frequently cover a range of stories including 

name calling, public humiliation, slapping, kicking, punching and strangling, which are 

everyday occurrences. More grave crimes include stabbing, rape, and murder for which 

penalties at law are unfortunately not adequate. 

While all types of abuse are present in various cities, according to Turkey Bureau of 

Statistics, a staggering 40% of women are facing domestic violence from their brothers, 

fathers and husbands and other relatives. Men in the family feel entitled to assert and 

consolidate their power by deliberately treating women like servants. Other tactics include 

the use of gestures, looks, raising voices to intimidate women with the intention of smashing 

their self esteem and letting them know who is in charge. Those who are audacious enough 

to stand firm are beaten fiercely. They receive in return a bruised eye or a bloody nose just 

because they used a wrong word or somehow provoked the head of household. 

Interference with domestic affairs by neighbors is frowned upon and the police rarely gets 

involved unless a major stabbing or a gun injury develops. Even if physical violence is not 

present, the man in the family uses derogatory remarks and insinuates that the women in the 

family are incompetent and dependent on the money that he brings home. Some of these 

cases develop into psychological trauma and leave lifelong scars. 

The common thread between these incidents are egotistical men treating women as inferior 

beings and trying to take advantage of these weaklings. I wish I could say that the blame 

only lies with men. In our culture, women typically raise their boys in a highly discernible and 

discriminatory fashion. Boys tend not to be involved with any housework, and their 

misdemeanours and character flaws are often overlooked compared to girls. 

The patriarchal society finds its roots in the Ottoman Empire where the throne is inherited by 

the eldest son. Gender disparity is the result of centuries’ of lack of education and 

awareness often intentionally imposed by the governing authority that fear an educated 

public is a menace to society from a religious perspective. In addition, an educated public 

generally implies fewer votes for the ruling party in Turkey. 

In the short term, to improve gender awareness and equality, security for women in public 

transportation should be corroborated, and heavy marketing on TV, social media, and other 

platforms should be promoted. Economic independence is a solution in and of itself; as it 

inspires and invigorates a woman to leave the household and start a life on her own at will. 

The longer term solution lies with more democracy with particular emphasis on education, 

embracement, and involvement in all layers of the society. 

Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, who successfully fought our war of Independence and founded the 

modern Turkish Republic once stated, “Women are the pillars of the society and wellspring of 

the nation.” They are to stand tall and shine; not be looked down upon.