The underlying death sentence of being a woman in Kenya by Lisa Miano

The idea of marriage has always made my stomach flutter, made my skin feel a little tighter and my breathing just a little heavier. Every time I walk down the streets or find myself alone past dark, I feel the exact same way. This is fear. This is a cold-blooded fear that runs down my spine at the very thought of becoming one of the many statistics on abused women. I am not alone in my fear, countless girls in my country feel the same. We are all afraid that one day our defiled bodies are going to be found in a forest, or at the back of a pickup or that our future husbands will abuse us and we will have to pretend it is normal in order to stay alive.

Gender-based violence is one of the most blatant human rights violations today, affecting almost half the population in some way. The UNHCR defines it as any act that is perpetrated against a person’s will and is based on gender norms and unequal power. It encompasses all violence whether physical, sexual, or psychological. It includes rape, domestic violence, threats, coercion, and harassment. It does not discriminate. It is a threat to all women regardless of age, economic background, or social status. Women in many countries are being abused and women in Kenya are no exception. According to Kenyan government data, 45% of women aged 15-49 have experienced some form of physical abuse while 14% of women of the same age range have experienced sexual violence.

Gender-based violence is enabled by decades of systems rooted in the belief that women are inferior and do not deserve the same opportunities as men. A great example is the education system where the boy child is more likely to be enrolled. Statistically, girls only occupy a third of higher education enrolment and are more likely to drop out of school due to poverty, household responsibilities, lack of menstrual hygiene and early marriages. This inequality leaves girls more vulnerable to abusive relationships with elderly men as they are young and require financial support.

The power imbalance and pressure in these relationships ensure that the woman is stripped of her voice. Furthermore, it normalises the idea that men should hold more power in the relationship, so other women do not question it when they find themselves under the man’s control. Kenyan men have certain ideologies about what defines their masculinity. Our boys are forced to be aggressive and are only considered worthy if they constantly assert their dominance over women.

Women are seen as prizes whose boundaries mean nothing. To avoid ridicule, boys are encouraged to do whatever it takes to acquire a lady. As a sixteen-year-old, it is not fair that every single girl I know has been cat-called or made uncomfortable by male strangers more than once in their life. This culture of harassment is a direct result of toxic masculinity which leads to women only being viewed as objects.

University of Nairobi labelled victims reckless in response to three rape cases in their vicinities. Of the seventy-five thousand offenders in 2018, only 312 served probation. From young, we are denied the right to wear what we want, we are forced to choose between our liberty and our safety. It is not fair for women to constantly give up their comfort for the sake of men who do not respect them. It is not fair that clothing or level of intoxication gives people the right to deny victims justice. Victims are never the reason for their abuse and the inability of Kenyans in power to understand that is killing innocent women.

Despite how deep this problem runs, there is much that can be done. The power of education needs to be wielded and used to teach more Kenyans how to treat women as equals. Young boys need to be taught to respect boundaries. Victims of abuse should be believed and supported instead of ridiculed, gaps in education and pay should be closed and laws protecting women should not only be enacted but implemented too. Our daughters should know that they are worth more than what our country has given them.

Gender-based violence is killing us and it is our duty to take active steps to eradicate the terror in women’s hearts as we exercise our freedoms. Being a woman should not be a death sentence, we need to stop making it one.